"The 480 Deployment"
    - by Kemper Mills, 2002
(Professor's note: Kemper wrote this creative piece during our return from the Colorado trip, and it gained instant popularity with his fellow students.  A few words have been edited for clarity, but otherwise the entire poem is that which he composed in the back of Van 2 on our final trip.  Enjoy, but don't take it TOO seriously. We don't want to scare away anyone from taking the course!)

Down the road in our vans we ride
    Two crazy geographers as our guides.
We go through townsites
    Most people don't care.
If we had a map
    We couldn't show you where.
We wade in water waste deep
    Floating and measuring the nasty Oak Creek.
Where is it?
    Why is it there?
Why is it important?
    Does anyone care?

Down the road in our vans we go
    With two crazy geographers, young but yet old.
Robert says, "this road goes through". "No way," says Vans one and three
    "See, the road was locked," but Robert had the key!
Off to New Mexico
    Packed like chickens in a coop.
Late to camp again
    Has anyone seen C Loop?
Up to Santa Fe
    The locals want us gone
Out to Las Vegas
    Where Crazy Jim still looks for Tom
Up to Los Alamos
    We push north farther
We all get coffee
    Don't dare drink the water.

Down the road in our vans we ride
    Camping in New Mexico for the last time.
Camp without beer
    We mustn't be naughty.
100 miles down the road
    Starving for coffee.
North to Colorado
    Is our goal.
Where we end up
    Nobody knows.
23 geographers
    Not one good map.
We're lost again
    Time to take a nap.

Up through Colorado in our vans we ride
    Hopefully, thankfully, for the last time.
At Ridgeway Lake campground
    We meet Mean Ranger Jim.
We set up our tents
    Just to move again and again.
Despite the Gestapo
    Dave sings us a song.
We try to be friends
    But some can't get along.

South through Colorado, for our last ride
    Wake from a coma, to the beautiful mountainside.
Sick and tired
    All covered in dirt.
A shower and a shave
    Sure wouldn't hurt.

The van screeches to a halt
    Is someone injured, is someone in pain?
No, it's only Tom who must run
    To get a picture of that train.
We stop for a lesson
    At Lizard Head Pass.
Where Anna teaches us about beavers
    From way back in the past.
Smoke pours down the road
    The carnage that might be.
To an old burning truck
    Runs Toby, our own EMT.
We stop for the last camp
    Not a shower in sight.
The smell of the van
    Fills me with fright.
Ella makes the best Navajo Taco
    That I have ever ate.
She won't tell us how
    Because "white man could never re-create".
So we push home
    With bloddy toes and bloody knees.
What more do I know
    About ge-og-ra-phy?

Down this road
    Our van ride ends.
We all had problems
    But we all have new friends.
Back home to reality
    To write our own book.
Stare out the window
    For just one last look.
It wasn't all Hell
    It wasn't all enjoyment.
I'm just happy to survive
    The 480 Deployment.


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